How People Foster Children at Different Stages of Life?

What is the right time to be a foster carer or foster parent during your lifetime? This is often a question that prospective foster carers and people that foster ask themselves. This is thinking about when could be the best time in your life to focus on the support for a child or young person and making a real difference.

There is no right or wrong answer overall. There is no “right age” to foster and it is different for everyone. It can depend on many factors including your employment, housing position, health, birth family and other life events.

People maybe become foster carers when they are younger, successfully supporting several children and young persons, and then they take a break for several years, before fostering again at a later time in their lives.

It is your life experience and the events that are more important to consider and not your overall age. Age is an influencing factor but often more relating to developing your parenting skills, financial considerations and health. The people that foster will consider their age but it is about making a well balanced and informed decision based on other areas more importantly and keeping an open mind.

Who Are the People Who Foster?

The people that foster are from all backgrounds and ages. You do need to be older than 21 to be a foster carer but there is no upper age limit. It is important to be capable and able to support the child and young person fully. Safeguarding is always a priority first for everyone.

People that foster are also in different family or personal positions – people are single, have a partner, maybe married or maybe own their own due to other circumstances due to a relationship ending or passing of a loved one. It is again considering your own position and having the time and commitment to be a foster carer.

The reasons that people that foster, to become foster parents, can be down to several reasons but the most common motivation is to help and support children and young persons. This is an important motivation and wanting to see a child or young progress, feel safe and happy. Other reasons can be because another family member or friend has been a foster carer.

Fostering in Your 20s and 30s

People that foster may have less experience at a younger age and therefore learn as they grow into the fostering role. All new foster carers complete “Skills to Foster” first (three day fostering training course) and then complete ongoing training. Energy and flexibility are important qualities.

Foster carers in their 20s or 30s can benefit from developing their support network as they become foster carers – whether this is family or friends. It is really helpful to have someone you can call on and ask for help when needed. Balancing your social life, having the time for fostering and work commitments are all relevant to consider. From a younger age, your overall life is evolving, so it is learning as you progress.

Fostering in Midlife

In your midlife, you will have greater life experiences and parenting skills to use as a foster carer. Your confidence is also likely to be greater from knowledge you will have gained through training, achievements you have made, life events and learning from others. This puts people that foster in a good position to become foster carers.

It can be a good time to foster in your life, as routines and your overall life are often more stable. People that foster can do this alongside their work career and supporting their birth children.

Fostering Later in Life

This is a different stage of life as you become older and even more experienced in life and personally. You can use extra time, patience and emotional availability to support children and young persons.

This different stage of life provides for you to use life skills effectively to make a real difference. People that foster will think about health and lifestyle considerations also.

Many people that foster do in the later time in their life because of the extra time and wanting to help others. For example, if your birth children have left home, you may have the space and want to support other children.

How Life Stage Shapes the Type of Care You Offer?

The stage in your life will affect your time available, skills, knowledge and overall experience. You can therefore take this into account for your foster carer approval terms and the child or young persons you support from babies, younger children to teenagers. It is really important to match the children’s needs with your skills and knowledge. For example, if you only plan to foster for three to five years, you would be matched for short term placements rather than long term placements.

Common Worries Across All Life Stages

When thinking about fostering, there are common or shared worries for people that foster. These include questions like “Am I too young or old to foster?” “Can I manage my finances and time for fostering” “What are the emotional challenges for fostering?”

These are all good questions and they can be best answered by having a good discussion. None of these areas should prevent you from fostering, it is about reflecting on the life stage you are at, your circumstances, experiences and whether fostering will be right for you.

What All Foster Carers Have in Common?

There are common skills and identities that foster carers do share.  These include a commitment to children’s wellbeing, having a willingness to learn and the ability to offer stability and care. You may have many of these skills already and through exploring fostering, you can recognize these and build on them further.

Support Available at Every Stage

For people that foster and are looking to start their fostering career, there is support for you at every stage. This includes focused fostering training and guidance for people that foster. There is financial support from your foster carer payment to provide an income and to cover the children’s allowances element (towards clothing, food, transport, hobbies and personal costs).

Peer groups are beneficial to meet with other foster carers. Your social worker can provide direct support on a day to day basis and for your wider fostering development.

Find Out If Fostering Fits Your Life Right Now

To consider fostering, it is best if you reflect on your current stage in life and your circumstances. It can be helpful to discuss this and contact a local fostering agency, like Beacon Fostering. You can share your experiences, life events and future plans, to then consider if fostering would be right for you.

There is support at every step when thinking about becoming a foster carer. This starts with a friendly and supportive conservation together. Many people that foster, start out by just asking the simple question of what fostering involves.