Supporting Birth Family Contact: Navigating Visits, Emotions & Boundaries

Maintaining safe contact with birth families can be incredibly important for foster children, but also emotionally complex. Foster carers play a crucial role in supporting these connections while protecting the child’s wellbeing.

A Child-Centered Approach

Not all children want contact right away. Some feel torn or confused. It’s key to help children process their feelings – without judgment.

Ask gentle questions like:

• “How do you feel before a visit?”
• “Is there anything that helps you feel safe during/afterwards?”

Preparing for Visits

Use visual calendars and routines to prepare children for upcoming contact. Practice “what if” scenarios – like if a parent doesn’t show up – so children feel less shocked and more secure.

Neutral, Supportive Language

Avoid criticism of birth parents, even if the child shares upsetting information. Use neutral phrases like:

• “That must have been hard.”
• “I’m glad you shared that with me.”

This builds trust without alienating the child from their past.

Setting Boundaries

Work closely with your social worker to understand safe boundaries. Your job is to support, not supervise or manage contact directly unless trained to do so.

After visits, children may have strong reactions. Stay patient, predictable, and keep routines steady.

With your steady presence, children learn they can hold space for their past while feeling safe in their present

Interested in fostering with us? Click here to apply to be a foster carer with Beacon Fostering.