Things To Do As A Foster Family On Valentine’s

Valentine’s Day can be a lovely opportunity for a foster family to focus on love, belonging and positive relationships, not just romantic partnerships. For children in foster care, days that celebrate family and love can bring up mixed emotions, so planning gentle, inclusive activities really matters.

Start by talking together about what Valentine’s Day means in your foster home. You might explain that it is a day to show kindness and appreciation to the people we care about, which can include foster carers, siblings, friends, teachers and key workers and not just relationships. This helps a foster child understand that they belong in the family and that love can be shown in many different ways, not just in birth families.

One simple activity is a “kindness cards” session. Each member of the foster family writes or draws a message to everyone else in the household, including the foster child, birth children and foster carers. Cards could focus on strengths: “I like that you make me laugh” or “You are really brave.” For some children in foster care, this may be the first time they have received positive messages at home, so keep the tone gentle and reassuring.

Craft activities can also make Valentine’s Day feel safe and fun. You could create a “family heart tree” on the wall, writing everyone’s names on heart-shaped leaves, or decorate biscuits and cupcakes together. Baking can be particularly helpful for foster children who find it easier to talk while doing a shared activity, and it gives plenty of chances to praise teamwork and cooperation.

For foster families with children who struggle in busy places, a cosy movie night at home can work well. Let your foster child help choose the film, prepare snacks together, and build a blanket fort or set up fairy lights to make it feel special. A predictable, calm evening can help foster children feel secure and settled on a day that might otherwise feel emotionally charged.

You might also use Valentine’s Day to focus on self-esteem. Activities like “three things I like about myself” or creating a “self-love jar” filled with positive statements can support the emotional wellbeing of children and young people in foster care. Carers can join in too, modelling self-compassion and showing that everyone is still learning and growing.

If appropriate and agreed with the child and professionals, you might support safe contact or send a simple, neutral message to birth family. This must always follow the care plan and your fostering agency’s guidance, but for some young people it can help them hold both their foster family and birth family in mind on significant days.

Above all, Valentine’s Day in a foster home is about reassurance, warmth and showing that love in foster care can be stable, safe and unconditional. By planning thoughtful activities, foster carers can turn what could be a tricky date into a positive memory that strengthens attachments and helps a foster child feel truly valued.

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