Tips for your first Christmas with your foster child

For many children, Christmas represents a thrilling season characterised by gifts, festive decorations, and cherished moments with family. However, this experience can be markedly different for children in foster care. Separated from their families, their holiday celebrations may not align with the traditions they are accustomed to. As a foster parent, it is your responsibility to create a memorable and enchanting winter celebration for them.

To ensure a joyful experience, consider the following tips for your first Christmas together with your foster child.

Be Attentive to Their Emotions

Recognise that Christmas may be a challenging time for a child in care, and remain sensitive to their feelings throughout the day. Despite your efforts to create a joyful atmosphere, they may still experience a sense of loss for their family.

Exercise Patience and Offer Solitude

Provide them with a quiet space if they require solitude, or suggest a calming walk together to help them process their emotions.

Outline the Christmas Day Schedule

On December 1st, create a storyboard detailing the events of the three key days: Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and Boxing Day. Incorporate essential elements such as meal times, gift opening, and any guests who will be present. Utilise printed photographs of the guests, cutouts of the various foods to be served, and samples of the wrapping paper for gifts. This approach alleviates surprises and significantly reduces anxiety on the actual day.

Assemble the Christmas Tree Together

Dedicate some quality time to collaboratively set up the Christmas tree as the holiday approaches. Allow your foster child to select various decorations and place them on the tree according to their preferences.

Purchase a Customised Ornament for the Tree

Enhance your foster child’s sense of belonging by acquiring a customized Christmas ornament featuring their name or a photograph. Position it on the tree alongside ornaments belonging to your other children, grandchildren, nieces, or nephews. This ornament can also serve as a cherished keepsake should the child eventually transition to a new home.

Create Handmade Christmas Cards

When preparing to send out Christmas cards, consider allowing your foster child to write their name, illustrate a picture, or even craft the cards for close friends and family. Ensure that you preserve a few for both yourself and your foster child, as they will serve as wonderful memories if and when they move on.

Involve Them in Menu Selection

Share your traditional Christmas menu with your foster child and inquire about their food preferences for the holiday, even if they prefer something like chicken nuggets. This small act demonstrates your effort to include them in the festivities. You might also allow them to assist in preparing some of the dishes and observe as everyone enjoys the meal they contributed to, which can be a great confidence booster.

Capture Numerous Photographs

Christmas is a time for creating cherished memories, so be diligent in documenting the day with plenty of photographs. After the festivities, print and display these images around your home, and consider preserving some in a memory box or a photo album for the child to cherish in the future.

Purchase a Thoughtful Christmas Card

Enhance their sense of worth by selecting a beautiful Christmas card, perhaps one that reads ‘To someone special.’ Many of these children may have endured neglect, and simple affirmations of their significance can greatly contribute to their self-esteem.

Include Gifts from Your Extended Family

If your biological children receive gifts from relatives, ensure that your foster children are included as well. This practice fosters a sense of belonging within your family unit.

Keep Extra Gifts on Hand

Maintain a supply of additional gifts to accommodate any unexpected presents received for other family members, ensuring that no child feels overlooked.

Engage in Conversations About Their Birth Family

If possible, you could allocate time to discuss your foster child’s birth family, including any traditions they may have experienced. Encourage them to share their memories, as this dialogue can help incorporate familiar elements into their daily life and identify topics to avoid that may evoke painful recollections.

If this is your inaugural Christmas as a foster caregiver, we hope these suggestions inspire you to create a memorable and meaningful celebration.