What is parentification of children?
Many children who enter foster care come from backgrounds and upbringings where their parents and other adults failed to meet their needs adequately. Some of them who have siblings may have had to step in and fulfil the parent role to look after the younger children.
This is known as parentification, or being promoted to parent. Children who have had to look after a younger sibling often struggle with the adjustment to living with a foster family, due to their lack of trust of authority figures and their strong sense of self-reliance. Here are some other things to know about parentification from us at Beacon Fostering.
Situations where parentification commonly happens
The oldest children often end up assuming the parent role to their siblings and sometimes, a parent, due to neglect, ill physical or mental health or bereavement. As well as taking on roles such as cooking, cleaning and paying bills, they often act as the parent’s emotional support.
Impact on children
Children who have had to raise their siblings will often feel responsible for other people, and be unable to take care of themselves and meet their own needs. This often results in mental health problems such as anxiety and depression, and they may also be vulnerable to being trapped in unhealthy romantic relationships in adulthood.
What foster carers can do and the support available
As a foster parent, you can help the parentified child by ensuring there are specific roles for them. Ask them what their siblings like and dislike, and discuss their experiences with looking after them, finding ways that they can use their skills outside of the home.